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A game OCD likes to play

A therapist once told me I remembered "one-liners" from the past.

Turns out what she meant was I fixated on one-liners -- like when an 8th-grade classmate called me "the laziest bum" he'd ever seen, questioning why our teacher named me editor of the middle school newspaper.

There was also the time in 10th-grade geometry, when a friend described me to the class as "short and stubby."

OCD has played those lines over and over and over again, for decades, shouting them when I'm most vulnerable.

In a previous post I mentioned the humor of OCD. While I find absolutely no humor in being made fun of in public, particularly as a child with shaky self-esteem to begin with, I do find it a little funny that my OCD brain clings to these few words from people whose opinions I never actually sought out.

The guy in 8th grade? I don't remember anything else he ever said to me.

And my friend in 10th? We've reconnected a bit on Facebook and I'm certain he doesn't recall that moment because it meant nothing to him.

So why place such great importance on these instances? It took me a long time to realize it, but it's just another game OCD likes to play.

I do better when I remind myself that I have a chance to beat OCD at its game, as long as I remember OCD made up the rules and I'm able to change them.

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